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    The Boss

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

    “The Boss” is everything I was afraid it would be. By describing it as a sack of smelly, mummified oranges I have put more creative thought into the film than the creators did.

    Michelle Darnell (McCarthy) was one of the richest women in America, until she was arrested for insider trading and ruined. Now released from prison, she forces herself into her former assistant’s apartment (her assistant Claire played by Kristen Bell.) Determined to earn her millions back, she establishes a Girl Guides-like organization to sell brownies for profit.

    I know that Melissa McCarthy is a talented comedian. “Spy” from last year is a great film. So why is she lowering herself by acting in this extremely poorly written film whose idea of a laugh is always the lowest hanging fruit? This is not a film that relies on intelligence or good writing. It relies on the fact that its characters are stupid, or weird and will do things that you wouldn’t do. You will laugh at their expense, not with them. We’re told that Michelle Darnell is a brilliant financial tactician, but she’s unaware that normal people don’t want to prostitute themselves, or that you can’t toss around slightly homophobic statements without people getting offended. I know director Ben Falcone is trying to play it up this thing where Darnell is so insensitive that she’s “stupid” but don’t assume that we’re idiots too. You have to have some kind of sense to be successful, making this entire film about as realistic as Kristen Bell not being able to find a date.

    Amid the lame pratfalls and multiple scenes where you’re supposed to laugh while Darnell insults little girls, I began to wonder. What’s the appeal here? Who am I supposed to like? Darnell? She’s a rich, white-collar criminal who throws her money in other people’s faces to the point where she can’t relate to normal human beings anymore and surrounds herself with yes men to make herself feel more intelligent. She loses her money and I’m supposed to cheer for her? I don’t think so. Maybe Claire? A weak-willed assistant who lets herself be bullied for months/years at a time? That’s not being an underdog, that’s not standing up for yourself and having only the face in the mirror to blame for your problems. Claire’s daughter Rachel (played by Ella Anderson)? I guess I could like them in theory, if her scenes couldn’t all be categorized under “uh oh! She just heard something outrageous! Shock factor humour time! ” or “forced attempts to wring sentiments out of the audience”.

    Let’s be fair. If these characters were smart, there wouldn’t be a movie. I’ll set aside my gripes regarding some of the characters. Suspend my disbelief and all that. Even so, the writing in “The Boss” is particularly weak. It’s a film whose conflict suddenly appears during the last third, a conflict that could have been snuffed out had the characters sat down and talked… like rational, realistic people do. This screenplay flat-out stops caring during the last act. Stuff just happens to wrap up the film conveniently. I’m not going to tell you what it is, but let me give you an example of the level of creativity and thought that’s been put into with my own fictional scenario.

    Let’s say the bad guy stole your cat. Oh no! Not my cat! You tried to call the authorities, but there’s nothing they can do. The villain’s got diplomatic immunity. So you’ve got to break in and get your cat back, but how? Surely it’s under lock and key. Except it isn’t. The antagonist has a phobia of locks so you’re in and out within five minutes. Hurray!

    It’s slightly more complicated than my scenario, but that’s the level of thought that was put into this picture. The conclusion is incredibly contrived, confirming to me that the film was created not because they had a real story in mind, but a series of funny gags and a central character. They stitched all of those scenes with a plot and assumed that was enough, that the talented cast would be able to save this ship from sinking. It goes for cheap jokes so often. We’re talking about stuff ranging from vividly describing Darnell’s nether regions to perpetuating movie stereotypes. If the people at “The Boss” wanted to make a joke about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, maybe they should have actually watched the movie. It’s not an inspired joke (I remember seeing it in “Parental Guidance”, another bad comedy) but at least you could do it right.

    There’s one glimmer of genuine enjoyment in “The Boss”. I know you hope I’m going to say that it’s Peter Dinklage as the film’s villain. It isn’t. You “Game of Thrones” fans really need to start aggressively buying the seasons on DVD/Blu-ray so HBO can afford to give the man a raise and keep him away from the likes of “The Boss”, “Pixels” and “Angry Birds: The Movie”. If it wasn’t for “X-Men: Days of Future Past” I’d be automatically branding any film associated with him as sub-par at this point. No, the only character I enjoyed was my man, Taylor Labine. This movie sucks, but if it turns out a decent profit I hope it will help catapult the star of “A Good Old Fashioned Orgy”, “Mountain Men” and “Tucker & Dale vs Evil” to true stardom.

    I’m certain that there are people who won’t recognize the films “The Boss” pulls liberally from, or won’t mind how poorly written it is, but you deserve better. I made a promise to see “The Boss” and I had this elaborate plan where I’d buy a ticket for another movie in the theatre and just sneak into this one instead of seeing “10 Cloverfield Lane” a second time. I forgot and now I feel awful at having supported a film as bad as “The Boss”. (Theatrical version on the big screen, April 23, 2016)

    2
    HelpfulNot helpful  Reply
    adamwatchesmovies@  24.4.2016 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

    Wow. Well written. I like your review very much. Thanks.

    HelpfulNot helpful Reply
    tinker@  6.5.2016 age: 50+

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