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    Gods of Egypt

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

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    I wonder if we’re ever going to get an ancient mythology-based film that’s accurate and entertaining. I understand that you have to play fast-and-loose with some aspects. A lot of stuff contradicts other stuff and the logic of some of these stories… it’s dated. Additionally, they often don’t lend themselves to a full-length epic adventure. Then again, sometimes it feels like no one is even trying. That brings us to “Gods of Egypt” which I found entertaining because I went in knowing it was going to be bad.

    In ancient Egypt, Gods live among mortal man. When King Osiris (Bryan Brown) passes on his crown to his son Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), Osiris’ jealous brother Set (Gerard Butler) interrupts the ceremony, kills Osiris and usurps his nephew’s kingdom. Hope comes in the shape of a thief named Bek (Brenton Thwaites) Convinced by his girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton), that the blinded and banished Horus is the only hope for the world, he allies himself with the god to take down Set.

    Let’s just get to the elephant in the room. “Gods of Egypt” features a predominantly white cast. I noticed a few brown/olive-skinned characters here and there, but the only noteworthy black cast member is Chadwick Boseman as Thoth, the God of wisdom. I’m no film producer but I know that there are a lot of factors that go into a movie. Who’s available, what actors are being pushed by their agents, who’s hot right now, the demographics certain actors or actresses appeal to, etc. I would have liked to see a more accurate depiction of Egyptian mythology on both the casting and storytelling level. The studio execs have apologized for their insensitive casting. The important thing to remember though is that everything could have been forgiven, had the movie actually been good. With that, let’s move on.

    To me, the biggest problem with “Gods of Egypt” is that it has no identity. Say what you will about “Immortals” (2011) or the original “Clash of the Titans”. I enjoy both films but I’ll admit they’re rough around the edges. The reason I bring them up is because they both have clear direction. All of those stop-motion creatures by Ray Harryhausen look like they belong in the same universe. The Greek Gods in Tarsem Singh’s film look like they belong to the same pantheon and the action, the monsters, the characters are all unified in the way they are depicted and written. “Gods of Egypt” is all over the place. When Horus turns into his falcon form, he looks like a high-tech suit of armour. The gods themselves sometimes appear like regular people that can transform into imposing divine forms, or sometimes only in the animal-headed depictions found on pyramids and tombs, such as Osiris (voiced by Bryan Brown) who always looks like a jackal-man. When Horus and his allies confront a Sphinx, it looks like an animated pile of sand and stone. Giant serpents, demons and the numerous traps they must escape from look like they’re taken out of the “God of War” video games. That sphinx’s shtick is that it asks riddles by the way. Did anyone do ANY research while putting this film together? The Greek sphinx, the ones with the head of a woman, the body of a lion and wings of an eagle is the one that asks a question, not the Egyptian one! Maybe that trait was added so the multiple Minotaurs we see throughout wouldn’t be lonely. I don’t know. I didn’t catch who the art director was in he end credits, but they dropped the ball big time here.

    “Gods of Egypt” is generic fantasy stuff. Gerard Butler as the villain is just evil. He has no motivation aside from wanting more power. He kills the minions that fail him because that’s what evil people do. Gods are given vaguely established powers (The best kind in a movie with a loose plot) I like what was done here to make them look distinct from regular man, but I don’t understand why Elodie Yung as Hathor didn’t end this film’s conflict in 15 minutes with the abilities she possesses. The characters are not particularly well drawn meaning you don’t care about their plight beyond not wanting the world to be completely annihilated. It suffers further from a story that’s not memorable. There’s nothing distinctly Egyptian here. No new takes on pharaoh customs, no “revelations” for the audience, not even an attempt to tell a singly myth accurately.

    I understand that Egyptian mythology isn’t real, but that’s no excuse. Cinderella isn’t real, but if you don’t deliver on the lost slipper plot, the need to rush home by midnight and the fairy godmother, you’re not doing your job right. Why can’t Osiris have green skin, get dismembered and put back together in order to come back to life? Is it too much to ask to have characters that resemble Sobek; to see Egyptian-style crowns; a single Ankh, the soul devourer Ammit or the crook and flail that is associated with pharaohs? Can’t we get any aspects of the country’s history accurately captured besides pyramids? To me it feels less like an artistic representation of mythology and more like people simply not caring. There’s no aspect of “Gods of Egypt” that tells me that any passion went into this project. Yes I realize that any time any movie is completed and released it’s the culmination of a lot of work, but if you’re asking people to pay to see your movie, it’s not enough to just have the technical aspects work (although even that is debatable here, as many special effects look off and the 3-D is nothing special)

    For all of the criticism I have towards it, I have to admit I did enjoy the film on a certain level. This is the kind of movie that I should have been able to predict beat-for-beat, but I wasn’t because I have standards and I like that things will make sense or that human characters act logically. As a rental, with some friends that you can laugh at when they become as bewildered as you, or laugh with when the climax exposes itself as completely ludicrous, it can be fun. I can’t recommend that you see “Gods of Egypt” in theatre, but I went in knowing this was going to be trouble and with my super low expectations, I got a kick out of this mess. (3-D Theatrical version on the big screen, February 27, 2016)

    4
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    adamwatchesmovies@  28.2.2016 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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