RoboCop

I wasn't even mildly disappointed and I should have been since I am not a Robocop fan in the least, barely remember the original -- so what's wrong with me? I mean REALLY? Am I honestly that stupid? That big a fool? Welll... yup! As science fiction goes, this one has all of the gratuitous violence and high-tech gadgetry that Hollywood and Silicon Valley -- or should that be Silly Con Alley -- can throw at it, just like its original... I mean god forbid, "What if?" As usual in movie matters such as this, the writers take themselves far too seriously and we, the idiots sitting in those row-upon-row of padded seats supply ourselves as fodder. Plot wise, Robocop's scientists and entrepreneurs cannot even begin to remember, never mind understand, or fathom how deep the human brain really is or how it functions, attached as it is to their Frankensteinian piece of machinery but neither does anyone else in the audience or anyone else on the planet, or apparently in the whole of the universe. A major crisis of human values of untold dimensions occurs between science, law, politics, technology, spirituality and $$$ of course and so the usual litany of philosophical questions and handwringing over the meaning of life, greedy capitalists, corrupt cops and politicians and our planet's lawless and flawed human population begins, unashamedly wrapped in the red, white and blue mantra of American patriotism, mother's sexy apple pie and baseball band electronics if you will... and ho-hum... the popcorn keeps selling well, Samuel L. Jackson as per his contract performs his usual ugly black routine complete with an even uglier hairpiece so as to pay for his Hollywood mansion, the remakes and sequels keep coming and the movie's digital signatures and wheels keep spinning and turning and the $ bills just keep piling up in those bank vaults whose CEO's keep gambling it away on some Wall Street sure-thing who then turn around and beg the taxpayers, led by corrupt politicians, for bailouts and so our taxes keep rising, the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer, little wheel spin an' spin, big wheel go round an' round... I mean, that's the real story here. Is there really a better formula for scraping the gum off the souls of your shoes or the dollars off the sidewalks or stealing below minimum wages from the pockets of the naive and stupid out there?.. surely an easy and tantalizing concept with which to bring those movie producers with deep pockets and friends in the banks on board. I mean, Hollywood, the banks and their hand-fed Congressmen certainly know how to spin a yarn and ask the right questions, lie to the baffled voter but also how to acknowledge their own idiocy. Go and see Robo-crap, if only to prove how dumb as human beings we really are, even to the point of paying $15 for a teenie-tiny bag of artery-clogging buttered popcorn and a tinier two-ounce cup of sugar-laced water where the minimum wage geek behind the counter tells me that I can up-size the entire killer package by 500% (and by inference kill myself faster) for a mere 50 pennies more and where all that popcorn left over at the end of the night in the popper is unceremoniously dumped on the road or in the garbage bin in the back alley and the pop pissed away, literally, a waste of money, of good food that was once eaten and revered by Aztec gods (can't say the same for the questionable beverage) and perhaps, intelligence... however, a fitting tribute to this movie's sudden slam-dunk, if even more asinine and ambiguous ending. "Take that, suckah..." barks the man loudly laughing while licking his chops and greedily rubbing his hands together," ... hurry every chance you get and call it a wrap of this boring idiocy, I want to go to the bank already!"