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    The Boy

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

    “The Boy” is not a good horror movie. On the upside, it’s not a dull or dreadful to watch and in fact I actually had fun watching it in the theatre. I was all prepared to make jokes about how it’s just a cross between the classic Twilight Zone episode “It’s a Good Life” and Goosebumps’ Slappy, but it’s not all that bad considering. It could have even been legitimately good had it stuck it’s landing.

    Greta (Lauren Cohan) has taken up a nanny job for the Heelshires, a wealthy British family. She is shocked to discover that Brahms, the boy she was supposed to take care of, died back in 1991 and that she will instead be taking care of his parents’ replacement for him, a porcelain doll. Taking care of an inanimate object sounds like a peace of cake, particularly when Brahms’ parents leave for a long vacation, but when strange things happen around the house, Greta becomes convinced that this “boy” is not what he seems.

    I like this premise for a horror movie. Most of the time, conflict in one of these tales begins with a transgression. Why’d you go into middle-of-nowhere Texas and start poking around? Don’t you know better than to bully that little girl with the mental powers? Who’s bright idea was it to open up that puzzle box?! You get the idea. Often, this initial action makes the characters look foolish. The instant someone tells me I’ve just moved into a house that is supposedly haunted and that unsolved murders took place there a year ago, I’m gone. Here, our protagonist seems perfectly reasonable and likeable. She wants to get away and make some money. Taking care of a toy for an exuberant fee sounds like the greatest thing ever. Do you blame her for not “waking up” Brahms at 7:00 and not cooking him a four-course meal come suppertime? No, because no one would do that! Throughout the picture you sympathize with Greta as she begins figuring out what is up with this doll and I felt that her journey throughout was interesting.

    There’s a good movie to be made here, but unfortunately “The Boy” can’t seem to stay away from cheap horror movie tricks and stupid developments. We get not one, but two dream scares, which to me are the spooky equivalent of a fart joke. There’s a scene in which a character decides to walk into a dark room, an area they have never been into, without any sort of flashlight or idea what’s going on. I can forgive them not going in with a weapon because hey, these people don’t know that they’re in a horror movie. But let’s say you were staying in an old house and you heard something creaking in the basement. Would you just run into the room blind? What if the owners keep their collections of rusty scythes, bear traps and pitchforks there? You won’t need a ghost to get you; you’ll accidentally kill yourself because you can’t see the nose in front of your face! I also felt that some of characters’ transformations happened at an uneven pace. That one’s more of a nitpick because for the most part you believe what’s happening here. Greta and the Heelshire’s grocery boy/man (Rupert Evans) actually have good reasoning behind their actions. During the film you never get to that point where you just give up and brand them as total idiots who deserve to die.

    There’s a good movie to be made with this premise, with these characters and with the overall plot of “The Boy”. But this ending absolutely has to go. It’s awful. It’s not that it doesn’t make sense necessarily, but it’s absolutely ludicrous and about as easy to swallow as a jar of eyeballs. A jar with its lid screwed on tight! I won’t give away what happens, but as the conclusion unfolded, I couldn’t believe it. I assumed it was a weird metaphorical ending for a second until I realized that no, this was actually happening for real. It’s so crazy that I actually find it somewhat endearing. I sat in a theatre with no less than six teenage couples. All of the girls shrieked at every cheap dream jump scare, even when their boyfriends comforted them beforehand by saying “Jump scare coming! ” And then on my way out, I found a five-dollar bill on the floor. Hurray!

    “The Boy” is two-thirds of an alright horror movie that falls flat on it’s face during the final act. I can’t recommend that you see the film in the theatre unless you’re 14 and you want an excuse to squeeze your date tightly without actually being frightened. I can recommend that you rent it though. At home you’ll like the beginning and once the movie goes nuts, you’ll be able to have fun at the expense of “The Boy”. (Theatrical version on the big screen, January 27, 2016)

    4
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    adamwatchesmovies@  28.1.2016 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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