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    My Bloody Valentine

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

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    “My Bloody Valentine 3-D" is just as dumb as any other slasher film but the 3-D is a lot of fun and it's got all of the gore and nudity that you want to see in this type of horror flick. One year ago, on Valentine’s Day, a cave-in left 6 miners trapped underground. When rescuers finally got to them, only one was left alive. Harry Warden (Richard John Waters) survived, but his fellow miners all found themselves dead, murdered via pickaxe. Now, in 1997 Warden has woken up from his cave-in induced coma, just as a killer donning a miner’s mask and a pickaxe begins a bloody rampage. Warden must discover who the killer is before the obvious suspect, himself! Is captured by the police.

    There are numerous problems with the story, including an ending that comes out of nowhere and feels like a betrayal. I don’t want to give away what it is, but my anger comes from the fact that the movie lies to you. What's the point of having a mystery to figure out if some of the clues given to us are phoney? You can’t show me something on-screen and tell me later that this didn’t actually happen the way I saw it happen. There is no way you can figure out who the killer is here, and that’s really frustrating. I also found that at several points the developments don't make any sense at all. For example, the killer manages to get into a locked grocery store without breaking in or using keys and is able to circle around the building at lightning quick speed, just so we can have a bloodbath. At times the gore is way over-the-top, which to me, shows that the filmmakers were overcompensating for something. When your killer manages to butcher an entire floor's worth of staff without any weapons and there are dead bodies everywhere, I call foul. I also don’t care what anyone says, being psychotic does not make you fireproof!

    On the other hand, the movie effectively uses 3D. You get pickaxes, eyeballs and blood flying at the screen and in more than one shot it feels like a gun is being pointed right at the audience before seeing the bullets fly. If you are going to see "My Bloody Valentine 3D" it isn't for smart dialogue, chemistry between the characters or a memorable story, it's for the "Bloody" and "3D". Despite the problems I have to surrender that it does deliver on the barest minimum of what you want to see. When it comes to the 3D, this is actually better than a lot of the movies in the genre.

    "My Bloody Valentine 3-D" is what it is, so see it in 3-D with some friends and get ready to have fun, but don't expect a good movie by any stretch. I’d rank this film higher because I did enjoy seeing it, but this is one of those instances where the ending is so bad that it forced me to take some points off. (3D Version on DVD, February 8, 2013)

    5
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    adamwatchesmovies@  1.8.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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