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    Little Man

    Reviewed by
    adamwatchesmovies@

    "Little Man" is a stupid comedy, stupid because the jokes are cheap, the premise is ridiculous and because the film makers think that audiences will be stupid enough to buy into the film. I know it's not a good, creative or "fair" adjective to describe a film, but just listen to this premise and you give me a better word to describe it. Calvin (Marlon Wayans with the help of some CGI technology) is a diminutive thief. After a successful jewelry heist, he loses track of one of the world's largest diamonds when he stashes it into the purse of a nearby woman. Vanessa (Kerry Washington) and her husband Darryl (Shawn Wayans) are eager to have a child and oblivious to the diamond now being in their possession. When Calvin, disguised as an orphaned baby boy appears on their doorstep looking for a home, these two morons decide to adopt him, at least until they can find the parents of this "little man" or Calvin finds the jewel and runs off.

    Even if you think that you would be able to stretch your imagination beyond the limits of space and time to buy that a grown man could trick people into thinking that, because of his short height, he is a baby/toddler, you can't. The filmmakers make the huge mistake of actually showing Calvin alongside real babies multiple times, which completely destroys the illusion and makes you wonder how stupid these characters are. Even Calvin, the guy has to have taken a few too many blows to the head to even consider this plot. Hey, it could work if the movie was funny right? That might be true, but the jokes consist mostly of crotch shots, lame sex jokes and obvious pratfalls. I found myself getting increasingly infuriated watching these trilobites looking bug eyed as a little man that is supposed to pass off as a small child does inappropriate things over and over. That would have been bad enough, but it got even worse for me. I became downright offended at a particular scene that I feel is so bad that it would have sunk any movie, never mind one that's about as buoyant as a bag of anvils. The setup is that Vanessa and Darryl are getting all frisky while Calvin, still pretending to be a baby is sleeping in a crib in the same room. Post coitus, while the couple is sleeping, Calvin sneaks out of his crib and pretends to be Vanessa's husband so he can have sex with her too. The film plays it for laughs. Oh those women! Isn’t it funny how she can't tell her husband from a guy half his size as long as the lights are out and she's got her legs spread? Isn't it even funnier that Darryl doesn't understand what happened? What if she had actually reacted like a real human would have, which would have been screaming, followed by untold sleepless nights crying to sleep at the idea that some stranger that she invited into her home took advantage of her? There are rape jokes where they don't pretend to be anything but offensive, and then there are the ones that I truly find despicable, which are ones like this example where they try and sneak it past you as good honest fun.

    "Little Man" may have a few lonely laughs here and there, but if the barrage of crotch hits and improbable comedic situations weren't enough to make this film totally unwatchable at first, just you wait. This is a movie that's so stupid it becomes offensive. (On Dvd, November 23, 2012)

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    adamwatchesmovies@  11.5.2015 age: 26-35 2,867 reviews

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