Guelph

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Wow. There may have been only two or three scenes that, taken in isolation, were well performed or well directed. But they don't save this a crap fest. WARNING** I AM DIVULGING SEVERAL PARTS OF THE MOVIE** The assorted fight scenes are absolutely silly. The entire English "army" magically have enough horses for everyone? They fire arrows from the Cliffs of Dover and the French can't figure how to cover up? And they ride on horse back about a thousand miles... to meet near a hill with this ridiculous GIANT horse manicured on a hillside, within a day or so? Who designed the horse and had time to create it on a hillside facing the sea? How would anyone know where the horse actually was as you couldn't see it until you rode past the hill? Villagers trapped inside a burning smoke filled building are rescued after about ten minutes of smoke inhalation? Maid Marion is submerged under water for ten minute and lives... Robin Hood shoots an arrow to kill the bad guy who is riding straight away and the arrow goes through his neck SIDEWAYS? This movie was completely random from the assorted speeches where King John shows complete disregard for anything? He hires a French dude to steal from his subjects... oh where did the money go? WOW and big surprise the French dude is a French spy, who looked middle eastern... Usually when I write reviews I stick to assorted elements of the movie but honestly this thing was horrible. You can't even suspend disbelief it is so bad... And why at the end was he branded an outlaw and not every other lord? That was the best line of the movie that we all see in the commercials... and it was the last line of the movie basically and just had me shaking my head. Don't say I didn't warn you.

1/10

psterl3384@ - 123 reviews
21.5.2010 - age: 36-49 - 18 replies

Hey, it's the summertime. You're not going to get a masterpiece.
n.oved - 22.5.2010 - age: 13-17

Thanks for your comment. Yes it is the summer time. I just wanted to steer people away form this movie. Iron Man II is a better bang for your buck. And coming up are some potentially good flicks like a remake of Karate Kid etc. This movie doesn't really appeal to any audience as the romance is only a small portion, the action scenes are not that good and the historical aspect is baffling. I really don't know what the target audience is.
psterl3384 - 26.5.2010 - age: 36-49

Are you not familiar with the hill figures of England, such as he White Horse of Uffington? Some licence may have been taken but there was no belief on my part that this white horse was supposed to be contemporary to 1200 A. D. Some of your other comments are valid but I think most viewers will tolerate a certain amount of dramatic licence in the making of historical pictures. If you had wanted a documentary you shouldn't have gone to see a film about a legendary man of fiction. Cheers mate.
wwc - 23.5.2010 - age: 50+

Thanks for your response. I understand what you are saying. I knew of the white horses on hillsides in England but these are generally much further inland with many of them from before 1700's are like stick men. That is just a small point in my criticism, and I would allow for it, if it was an isolated anachronism But that was like a snow flake in an avalanche. Uffington and the other main site Westbury, about 500 miles away from the sea. Something should have been added to the dialog so that the audience could be kept up to speed on the time facets as they did in Braveheart. It was incredulous to think that both the French "navy" and the English cavalry arrived at exactly the same moment. And even if they did there would most likely have been a protocol followed for battle.
psterl3384 - 26.5.2010 - age: 36-49

"Uffington and the other main site Westbury, about 500 miles away from the sea." TOTALLY incorrect, and betraying a vast ignorance of England. Check Google Maps. Westbury is 30 miles from Bristol and the mouth of the Severn and 40 miles from Bournmouth and the channel. "there would most likely have been a protocol followed for battle." Where ARE you getting your information? At the Battle of Hastings, William's army attacked the English as soon as they were ready and formed up. This was not the Age of Etiquette; that came later.
lizdevlin9 - 24.6.2010 - age: 50+

So how far is Nottingham forest from the English Channel Lizzie?
danniemoe - 24.6.2010 - age: 18-25

Can't you use Google Earth? I'll take pity on you - it's 215 miles from Nottingham to Dover. And it's Liz, thanks. :)
lizdevlin9 - 25.6.2010 - age: 50+

Who designed the "ridiculous" giant horse? LOL. You obviously haven't heard about all those prehistoric chalk figures engraved throughout England's hillsides, such as the Westbury white horse. Do some research before you blab, will you? This might not be the best movie ever, but from your rating & comments it sounds like you're the type who goes to see movies intentionally to pick out all the mistakes.
winterlight.31 - 25.5.2010 - age: 26-35

Thanks for your response. I have addressed the horses of Westbury and Uffington in a previous note. These are nowhere near the English Channel. Many in Westbury were constructed in the late 1700's. As for your final comment, I would simply request that you look at all my other reviews. You'll see that my scoring and comments fall in line with the average person. I would add that I came away from the movie quite "angry" at how it treated the historical aspect of this fiction movie. It was insulting to the intelligence of the audience. Perhaps I should have waited a day or two before writing my review. I go to movies to enjoy them, and escape from the day to day stuff. There is a limit as to how much I suspend beliefs.
psterl3384 - 26.5.2010 - age: 36-49

[...] An arrow can be diverted by something dense SUCH as a SPINE - FACT - so regardless of your opinion on the flim you need some education my son.
mkeinhorst - 25.5.2010 - age: 18-25

WOw I seem to have touched some nerves with my review. You can read my other responses pertaining to the other details of the movie. As for the arrow (or any bullet), of course it can be torqued in a new direction, but its entry point remains the same. For that arrow to hit his spinal column then deflect to the right and then re-enter on the right side of the neck to exit at the left side of his neck would be a feat indeed, using the rare boomerang arrow... Picky Picky I know.. When I wrote my review I was just rambling about assorted thoughts/flaws. The bottom line for me and as I read other reviews, the story was fairly lame and did not flow well. I suppose next time I will simply make a vague reference to the anachronisms rather than spout them out. I am wondering as well how the French mounted an attack when at the time of this film the English owned and controlled Normandy. Just saying... Thanks for reading my review and I appreciate your comments... my son... lol.
psterl3384 - 26.5.2010 - age: 36-49

It's called a Destrier...
liquid_bubblegum - 27.5.2010

I am not sure what you are referring to. A destrier was a large muscular horse used by knights in the middle ages. Only knights and nobles would be able to afford these jousting horses. They seem to be a cross between a regular horse and a work horse. This is becoming an almost trivial site from the movie. Lol Thanks for the information. As I watched the movie I thought that Crowe was actually riding a white Arabian horse which would not be Strong enough to carry the "mail". But it sure was purdy.
psterl3384 - 28.5.2010 - age: 36-49

"As I watched the movie I thought that Crowe was actually riding a white Arabian horse which would not be Strong enough to carry the "mail". But it sure was purdy." Crowe was riding an Andalusian (well documented online) I guess you don't know much about Arabians, as they were certainly Strong enough to carry Saladin's armoured cavalry bac then and grown men today in 100 mile races.
spurman - 17.6.2010 - age: 50+

[ATTENTION: This comment reveals content of the movie.]
Warning noted and ignored."The entire English "army" magically have enough horses for everyone? " The army consisted of cavalry and mounted archers. The infantry were clearly left behind at Barnsdale."They fire arrows from the Cliffs of Dover and the French can't figure how to cover up? " The movie I saw had many shots of arrows impacting into upflung French shields."And they ride on horse back about a thousand miles..." Who said anything about a thousand miles? "Villagers trapped inside a burning smoke filled building are rescued after about ten minutes of smoke inhalation? " The movie I saw had the building show several windows the villagers clustered at. A baby was even passed out of one of them."Maid Marion is submerged under water for ten minute and lives..." The movie I saw had her lifting her head out of water as Robin and Godfrey fought."oh where did the money go? " King John thought the money was coming to him, but obviously Godfrey intended to keep it once King Philip had conquered England. That's a no-brainer. Godfrey looked "middle eastern"? That's certainly... creative of you."And why at the end was he branded an outlaw and not every other lord? " In the movie I saw, the King proclaimed Robin an outlaw because he had impersonated a knight. He didn't dare goad the barons any further, but he could punish an upstart peasant. That too is a no-brainer. 9/10.
lizdevlin9 - 16.6.2010 - age: 50+

Mounted archers?. yeah right... If you check a google map search you will find Sherwood forest in the northern area of England. Average travel time in the day was about 20 miles a day. How long would you survive ether in a smoke filled room or underwater... Give me a break. The bottom line for the movie is that it was dull, and since it took on the legend of Robin Hood with a guy who wasn't really Robin Hood... made no sense... Crowe was portrayed as a thug who happened to find a dying guy who was the real Robin?.. who just happened to be carrying the King's crown?. who happened to cross paths with the dude who wrote the Magna Carta... What are the odds? I'm heading out to buy lottery ticket. Why not stick to the storyline that has been in place for decades and make some minor creative adjustments? Simply enhance the passion of Robin hood and Maid Marion...
psterl3384 - 24.6.2010 - age: 36-49

"you will find Sherwood forest in the northern area of England." Oh dear oh dear , you STILL don't know anything about England, do you? Sherwood Forest is in what is commonly called The Midlands. Perhaps you should go look it up. It means "Middle of England". By no means at all is it in "northern " England. So you have been proved wrong on a wide range of issues - which proves that your rancour is based on total misconceptions and inaccuracy. You found it dull. Fine. But that doesn't mean you can get away with telling people not to see it based on your TOTAL inaccurate ideas of geography and history.
lizdevlin9 - 25.6.2010 - age: 50+

I agree. Usually when you see movies depicting two nations at war and the armies meet, you see thousands of soldiers of all kind (or at least you get a sense of thousands) The entire English army were about 150 men in this movie! And all were on horses. There were no footsoldiers at all. I walked away wondering if they couldn't get enough extras or couldn't afford CGI technology to give the impression of huge armies at war (ala Braveheart) And the French army came on about maybe 30 small boats to take over the entire country of England? LOL.
jay_mr318 - 14.7.2010 - age: 36-49

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