Guelph

Imagine someone making a movie about Abe Lincoln that took place entirely in the theatre where he met his bloody end, or a movie about John F. Kennedy and only filming the motorcade around Dallas leading up to his assassination. Well, that's what Mel Gibson has done here with Jesus H. Christ. This is basically one hour of arguing in ancient tongues, followed by another hour of beatings, lashings, whippings, abuse, and hand-nailing, with enough fake blood to fill the entire Friday the 13th series (including Jason X) We learn jack squat about the life of Jesus, except through little flashback nuggets that only irritate rather than inform. I fail to see the point of this movie. Maybe I haven't read the gospel according to Luke enough or something, I don't know. I expected to be horrified and/or disturbed by this, what with all the hype and hooplah, but the least I felt was a little fidgety at certain points. The whole Satan thing, while entertaining, and enhancing the horror aspect of the movie, was just silly. Call Mel Gibson anti-semitic or whatever, but his great crime here is not hate-mongering, it's taking my $10.50 (YES, PARAMOUNT IS BACK UP ABOVE $10!!! ) and giving me this slimy trash in return. Just for that, I ought to steal a copy of Braveheart. Passion of the Christ is nothing more than the last 20 minutes of that much, much, MUCH better movie, stretched and expanded to about 2 hours. Mel, you tanked after Braveheart. Quit while you're ahead and go shoot Lethal Weapon 5 before Danny Glover kicks the bucket, would ya.

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