Châteauguay

[ATTENTION: This review reveals content of the movie.]
A weird attempt at a mix of torture porn and mystery, I Know Who Killed Me ends up being completely ludicrous on all levels. You don't hear the term 'overplotted' much but it's certainly the case here. They try to make this intricate plot that is supposed to keep you guessing throughout the movie as to what's going on, but it so stupid and overdone that you'll either figure out the reveal very early into the picture (I know who the killer was very early) or you'll just give up trying to figure out what's going on and when they tell you, you wanna throw your popcorn at the screen. This is easily the worst movie I've seen all year so far. The climax is stunningly stupid. There are two reasons that one would want to see this movie (I'm speaking for myself here): 1. You are a horror/thriller junkie and your bloodlust knows no bounds. For this person, they will be mostly disappointed. There is one good gory scene that serves up something not yet seen in a horror movie. That's always good and fresh but one gory scene does not make a good movie. 2. Lindsay Lohan is a stripper so you want to see this for the same reason you saw Demi Moore in Striptease or Natalie Portman in Closer. In Striptease, you get to see Demi Moore's boobs. In Closer, you get to see Portman scantily clad, talkin' sexy and you also get a great movie. But in this movie, you can neither benefit. I think I MAY have seen a nipple shot once or two but I think it was more me wanting to see it than actually seeing it. I'm amazed that Band of Brothers' Neal McDonough and Sabrina's Julia Ormond are in this piece of trash. Those are two actors that I REALLY like and it's sad to see them drown in this. Absolutely terrible and to be avoided.

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