Snakes on a Plane

"Snakes on a Plane" delivers what it promises so you can’t call it a bad movie. For better or worse, it’s got snakes, said reptiles are indeed on a plane… but in the end it might not be what you expected to see. The thing is, the movie is actually competently made, with a very convoluted but coherent plot, consistent internal logic, actors that are playing the role straight and decent special effects.

There is a plot here so let me break it down for you. Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) witnesses a brutal murder at the hands of a gangster. He is sent via plane to testify against the villain but our antagonist won’t have that happen. To circumvent the metal detection and sophisticated security measures implemented to protect Sean, crates of snakes are put on-board. With all of the Monday-to-Friday snakes on this matter-factoring plane, can FBI Agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) save the day and ensure that justice is carried out?

In some ways, the disappointing thing about "Snakes on a Plane" is that it’s well made. It isn't really a B movie that's prime for poking fun at because everyone involved knew this plot was madness. There are some scenes of snake-induced death that are goofy and over-the-top (mostly involving naked people being bitten in inappropriate places) but there’s no question that it’s self-aware. You can't really make fun of the people dying and the obvious jokes when those fatalities do happen seem juvenile. The tone shifts back and forth between some deaths being played for drama and others being totally played for laughs. It often plays more like an action film than a comedy, basically a "crisis on a plane" film with snakes thrown in.

Maybe if the villain had been really over-the-top and shown as a mad scientist that just loves snakes this would have worked better. The idea of a madman or madwoman determined to prove how evolutionary superior to man these legless assassins are, maybe with a Count of Monte Cristo style revenge plot to make some rival scientists pay is what this missing for me. An added plot about a demented love for snakes would have been that extra blast of energy that would have made this the kind of loveable camp story that you would expect from the title. As is, the villain is very uninteresting and only shows up for one scene so he feels like an after-thought. The movie has plenty of cheesy "monster vision" thrown in at least a couple of good one-liners (the most famous of which unfortunately doesn't come up during the picture’s climax, but is nevertheless a blast to hear)

As a thriller, “SoaP” is mostly effective, with the characters constantly trying to surmount the increasing obstacles in their way. Whether that means those pesky slitherers, panic among the passengers, turbulence and malfunctions or crucial members of the crew becoming unable to fulfil their tasks varies. The characters are smart and it's interesting to see them work together to try and make it out alive.

It's not really that this Internet phenomena of a picture ends up bad, it's that it won't be what you expect. It’s not going to be a classic like “The Room” or “Wicker Man”. And yes, I do understand that it delivers what it promises, but I still wanted something more. It’s enjoyable but once again, not necessarily what you expect."Snakes on a Plane" isn't a "so bad it's good" movie with a wacky premise but it is well made and it's got some good moments. (On Dvd, February 18, 2013)